Back in the Fall, I got a haircut and took a selfie because I was really happy with my new do. I used the selfie to update my Facebook profile pic, and I was surprised that people liked the photo. Why was I surprised? I was surprised because I'm really insecure when it comes to photos of myself. Most women are their own worst critics. I'd say that goes way beyond our outside appearances and even deeper. I'm not one to self-reflect but my selfie caused some "selfie"-reflection.
Sometimes it's good to stop and look at your life and think about ways you could improve. A little introspection never hurt anyone.
There are so many areas in my life that could use improvement. I don't have it all figured out. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels inadequate. I have flaws. I worry about not being good enough. I worry that people might think I'm fake or a hypocrite.
When I think about the way I live my life, the number one concern is
does my life honor God?
I try. I really do, but this is where I struggle. I'm not a perfect. Just look at this long list of mistakes that I make all the time. I get angry, I can be tacky, I laugh at inappropriate jokes, I say things I shouldn't, I yell at my kids, I'm impatient with my husband, I'm not a good listener, sometimes my priorities are wrong, I waste time, I don't spend enough time in Bible study and prayer. The list could go on and on. Pretty humbling, right?
I'm not trying to make light of those things. Knowing those are just a few areas where I fall short remind me that I'll never be good enough. It's also a reminder that when we are weak, he is strong. Pretty encouraging, right?
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 comes to mind where Paul is talking about his struggles.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I don't ever want to praise the bad things in my life as me being "real" but through those weaknesses I have humility. I'm just being honest about my struggles. They are always there to remind me that I'll never be good enough on my own. Those struggles keep me humble.
3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
My goal is to be genuine, honest, and real. We're all struggling to do the best we can, and with Bible study and making a conscious effort to practice what the Bible teaches we can do better despite our flaws. So now that I've come clean, can people still trust that I'm genuine? I sure hope so. Even though I make mistakes, when I talk about my faith it comes from a sincere place.
1 Timothy 1:5
5 The goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.