For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
I've shared over the last couple of weeks that my grandpa has been in the hospital. He's been in the hospital for over two weeks, and he has not improved. We are dealing with what the doctors call "end of stage heart disease". His heart is no longer strong enough to keep the fluid off his body. He originally went into the hospital with congestive heart failure and pneumonia. He has suffered from congestive heart failure for years, but his heart is much weaker now. My grandpa was fully aware of the situation when the doctors discussed his options for treatment and recovery. The doctors have requested that the living will be on file because his body is frail. They have also told him him that they are limited with what they can do. They have tried the medications that they think can help him improve and those medications have only shown slight improvement. The problem with fluid build up has not been corrected and it will only get worse with time.
I've never had to deal with the death of someone this close. I lived with my grandparents since I was a baby so this is essentially like losing a parent even though he is my grandpa. Dealing with death is difficult. I try to think about positive things and I'm grateful for all of the good in my life, but I am still very sad. Last night I started crying, and I couldn't stop. God's created us with such a capacity to feel joy and love and now I understand that we can also feel tremendous sadness and grief. Once I heard a pastor talk about why dealing with death is so difficult. He said it's because you lose a part of yourself when that person passes away. I can feel that right now.
I feel very sad for my grandpa. He's amazingly alert and coherent. His mind is still sharp, which is a blessing, but at the same time it makes it hard because he comprehends what the doctors are telling him. It's upsetting for him even though he is 95. In his words, "It's hard on your nerves when you know you're not going to make it much longer." Bless his heart. As I said, he's been blessed for 95 years, but his time on this earth is coming to an end.
In a couple of days, he will be moved to a nursing home once he is released from the hospital because he is too weak to go back to his assisted living facility. In the near future hospice will be involved.
Please pray for his comfort and peace of mind during this difficult time. Please pray for our family as we take care of Papa.
Thanks so much for your prayers already. I truly appreciate it! Your prayers and concern have meant so much.